relationships
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Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call
What used to be the season of cheer and love has now turned to fear and scarcity. I remember my first Christmas with a boyfriend. I was so happy, so irrevocably in love and the most excited I had ever been. Seasonal depression had left my body immediately. He was a ray of sunshine. He Continue reading
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I’m Scared I’ll Never Sleep Again
I do get asked by peers if I’m ready to start dating again. I tried it. Learned my lesson. Never again. I can’t trust myself enough to not say my ex boyfriend’s name to another man. I can’t trust myself enough to not run away if my ex ever objected at my wedding. I’m eloping Continue reading
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I Love You, I’m Sorry
Moving on feels like a betrayal to the man who loved me. The man I promised I’d stay no matter what. Choosing to leave him in the past feels like alcohol on a wound. A cigarette to my skin that he called soft and warmed up at any given time. I never intended to break Continue reading
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David
I write this on the six month anniversary of my first real break up. Three years not totally down the drain, just thought I’d have extended warranty. No, his real name isn’t David. There is no legitimate David in my life. I write while listening to David by Lorde. The lyric that I ask myself Continue reading
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Where’d All The Time Go?
You know how life goes. You say you will never miss high school but once you walk across that stage, nostalgia settles in and suddenly you miss when you were a lovefool sophomore with unbraided hair and dozens of necklaces. You hang out with teachers that made an impact on your life, you tour the Continue reading
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Let Down
I feel like I have officially reached ‘let down’ status. My life is a literal mess. I am a literal mess. I went from being on my knees, begging to be normal, to going out and living life while also experiencing the worst parts of it. Years of begging to be free and happy have Continue reading
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we can’t be friends
I can’t believe I used to have faith in an insipid, immature boy that thinks posing in front of an ambulance is great Instagram content. What was I actually thinking? Did I seriously believe this was the one for me? A boy that still acts the same way he used to in seventh grade? What’s Continue reading
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I Could Be a Good Mother
I feel like it’s inevitable for a young girl to dream of a life with her own family. Dressing her daughter in Strawberry Shortcake overalls, braiding her daughter’s hair, bouncing on the trampoline with her beloveds. I used to be one of those girls. Sometimes. I stopped wanting children when my eldest sister had my Continue reading
Midnight Reflections 