Adulthood
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Cellophane
“Didn’t I do it for ya?” It’s one of those nights where I feel like I could’ve done more. I could’ve helped you. I could’ve saved us if I just helped you a little more. But then I remember. I remember the one thing I shouldn’t. I remember how emotionless you were that night. I Continue reading
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Red
Love is so weird and absolutely embarrassing. I can never truly understand myself so how can anybody else? I say I’m fine but there are moments where I stop and think only to wonder how he’s doing. Even in our relationships death I still put his feelings before mine. I can’t help but remember all Continue reading
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From the Dining Table
A letter to you. In three weeks, we’ll be broken up for seven months. We’re halfway to a year. It feels so unreal. Where do I even begin with you my sweet first love? I’m sure you’ve read the last five stories I’ve written about you. At least I hope you’ve read them. I’d do Continue reading
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Sign of the Times
It’s always a Sunday. It was Sunday’s when I’d get phone calls from him because he was in basic training. It was Sunday when I told him I felt nothing for him and that it was over. It’s always a god damn Sunday. Every day I ask myself if I’m strong enough to never see Continue reading
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Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call
What used to be the season of cheer and love has now turned to fear and scarcity. I remember my first Christmas with a boyfriend. I was so happy, so irrevocably in love and the most excited I had ever been. Seasonal depression had left my body immediately. He was a ray of sunshine. He Continue reading
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I’m Scared I’ll Never Sleep Again
I do get asked by peers if I’m ready to start dating again. I tried it. Learned my lesson. Never again. I can’t trust myself enough to not say my ex boyfriend’s name to another man. I can’t trust myself enough to not run away if my ex ever objected at my wedding. I’m eloping Continue reading
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I Love You, I’m Sorry
Moving on feels like a betrayal to the man who loved me. The man I promised I’d stay no matter what. Choosing to leave him in the past feels like alcohol on a wound. A cigarette to my skin that he called soft and warmed up at any given time. I never intended to break Continue reading
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David
I write this on the six month anniversary of my first real break up. Three years not totally down the drain, just thought I’d have extended warranty. No, his real name isn’t David. There is no legitimate David in my life. I write while listening to David by Lorde. The lyric that I ask myself Continue reading
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Where’d All The Time Go?
You know how life goes. You say you will never miss high school but once you walk across that stage, nostalgia settles in and suddenly you miss when you were a lovefool sophomore with unbraided hair and dozens of necklaces. You hang out with teachers that made an impact on your life, you tour the Continue reading
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girl i’ve always been
I’ve had some questions asked by friends about my eye disease so I thought I’d share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences living with retinitis pigmentosa. I’ll start with my negative feelings. I hate that I can’t see but I hate knowing I can’t see even more. The built up frustration I have towards my eyes Continue reading
Midnight Reflections 