Midnight Reflections

Written: January 18, 2025 at 12:43 AM

I just wanted to talk to you and I get you were sleeping but if you had ever wanted to talk to me so much I would’ve been so happy. You’re never happy to have time with me anymore, only when it conveniences you. You like scheduling me into your time frame of your social battery but once you’ve run out of fuel you’re done with me for the day.

I just wanted to talk to you.

You woke up eventually for me, yes, but you woke up so clearly upset and bothered at that fact. I obviously didn’t want to keep pestering you because it was so clear that I was burdening you but you kept telling me to just tell you what I wanted.

All I wanted was you and I keep hoping someday you’ll appreciate that.

I don’t know why I keep trying with you. I try being spontaneous or nonchalant but nothing works because you don’t care for either one of those personality traits. If I just stop trying you wouldn’t even care or notice. I think you’d be happy if I just left you alone. I’m putting my foot down in starting conversations and being first to say I want to talk to you because why do I want to talk to someone who so obviously sees me as an annoying pest?

I kept calling you because every time I tried talking to you, you’d turn the other way and not answer me. I’d say “hello?” so many times and you ignored me so I would call you to shift your attention back towards me but you got frustrated and annoyed.

I’m sorry that I want you. I’ll stop doing that.

-A