Midnight Reflections

“Didn’t I do it for ya?”

It’s one of those nights where I feel like I could’ve done more. I could’ve helped you. I could’ve saved us if I just helped you a little more.

But then I remember.

I remember the one thing I shouldn’t.

I remember how emotionless you were that night. I remember how quick you were to tell me you felt nothing for me. I remember how you let me end that phone call. After three years of fighting for you endlessly, you felt nothing for me. Why didn’t you call? Where did you go? What could I have done? 

“Why don’t I do it for ya? Why won’t you do it for me? When all I do is for ya?” 

I wonder how I could’ve possibly walked away from you like you were nothing but I remember you did it first. So easily, too. I was left like a castaway. I know you didn’t have any more of yourself left to give me, but I wasn’t asking for much. I just wanted you.

“And I just want to feel you’re there. And I don’t want to have to share our love. I try but I get overwhelmed. When you’re gone I have no one to tell.” 

You didn’t even have to love me. I just wanted to feel like you liked me. I think I could’ve done more but I have to remind myself I did everything I could. I can only come to one conclusion as to why you didn’t feel anything for me.

“They’re waiting, they’re watching. They’re watching us, they’re hating. They’re waiting and hoping

I’m not enough.”

-A